


generated

by nascence (noktah)



Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Lowercase, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noktah/pseuds/nascence
Summary: come on, take me to a place I don't know.a victon drabble collection consists of different pairings using otp prompt generator.
Relationships: Choi Byungchan/Do Hanse, Han Seungwoo/Jung Subin, Heo Chan/Kang Seungsik, Im Sejun/Jung Subin
Kudos: 18





	1. directory

welcome to the directory of lost words and lost hearts:

  1. [_it takes two to do the sky_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770153/chapters/65303149); chan/seungsik. something about dancing.
  2. [_all night_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770153/chapters/65303215); hanse/byungchan. something about video calls.
  3. _[first steps of faith](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770153/chapters/65303263); _sejun/subin. something about amnesia.
  4. _[magnets](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26770153/chapters/65303296); _seungwoo/subin. something about foreheads.



all of these were previously written @ [wildhearts](https://write.as/wildhearts/)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for fumbling through here! kudos and comments are appreciated.  
> you can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/noktah_twt)! if you like this, please consider to leave a tip on [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/noktah) or [trakteer (for indonesians)](https://trakteer.id/noktah)!


	2. it takes two to do the sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is taken from stars and rabbit's [worth it](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGZuNy0yVAs).

♥

seungsik adores chan's body lines when he dances. he really does. especially when he dances in tune with seungsik's singing, woefully reciting melodies of heartbreaks and distant loves. but when it comes to him dancing in parties, well, not so much.

it was loud. electronic synths vibrating inside the crowds' veins, electrocuting them into doing tiktok challenges or just moves that looks more like they just humping in public and seungsik really just stares at his beer can, wiping the brand name nervously as he sees his boyfriend bumping into boys and girls alike as he dances to a remix of hyuna's song, alluring those drunken eyes with a sway of his hips and a curve of his lips.

“if you're that jealous, you should dance with him,” seungwoo pipes in, relaxing his back into the bar counter behind him as his thumb plays with the rim of his soju glass. “maybe i'm drunk, but i feel like there are devil horns growing out of your head.”

“i'm not jealous,” seungsik denies. then he sees chan giggling at his old schoolmate just banally thrusting into air — seungsik, mayhaps, intentionally forgets his name, that little shirtless shit. seungsik catches seungwoo's smug smirk, and god, does he really want to shove his muddy shoe into his mouth right now. “i'm not jealous!”

seungwoo, instead, pats his arms with pity. he dares to pout too. seungsik does not know how the hell he tolerates living with this guy for years before moving into chan's apartment. “it's okay. i'm sure chan's not gonna betray you, but you see, i think the alcohol already melted his brain into a puddle and he just enthusiastically humping on that guy.”

and it's true. chan really is humping that shirtless guy's thigh, giggles still bubbling out his throat with his reddening cheeks and his crescenting eyes.

“oh, for fuck's sake,” seungsik spits. he politely puts down his can on top of the counter, then he impolitely threatens seungwoo, “i'm gonna murder you one day.”

seungwoo cackles. “by all means.”

seungsik strides towards chan's location, pointedly ignoring the party crowd and the throbbing tenets of hyolyn reverberating above the indigo dance floor. chan catches him and quickly gets off the shirtless twinkleshit, which puts ease into seungsik's stormy heart, and skips into his space, the smell of alcohol evidently wafting from between his pretty teeth.

“hey, you,” chan greets with a slur. “thought you don't like to dance up here with me.”

“i am. but i just want you to be near me right now,” says seungsik, burrowing his face into chan's neck and keeping his hands on chan's hips.

chan laughs and seungsik can feel the lovely vibration bursting from his lungs. “wow, seungwoo's right. you do get jealous over me humping some random guy.”

“wait.” seungsik blinks. “did he tell you to do that?”

“yeah, he planted the idea in my brain,” chan laughs again, patting his back a couple of times. “but i can't deny that i did enjoy doing it.”

“chan, please, i already have seungwoo at the top of my murder list. don't make me write your name above his,” seungsik pleads, burrowing even deeper, pressing even harder as if he wants to leave marks through chan's cardigan.

“how scary,” says chan conversationally, but he replies his gesture with the same force—the exigency of it makes seungsik feel a little calmer knowing even though chan did a stupid thing, his heart would still find home in seungsik's. as if to prove seungsik's rose-tinted thoughts, chan presses a lingering kiss on seungsik's crown before he whispers his apology. again and again.

“it's okay,” seungsik forgives. “it's okay. i'm sorry for being boring in parties too.”

“nah, you're fine. it's a part of you that i try to learn to accept, just like you now trying to accept this part of me,” chan reassures and seungsik wonders if he's secretly an angel with his wings plucked, falling from heaven directly into his arms, impossibly lovely. “and, hey, did you not even notice we're dancing together now?”

seungsik's too busy basking in chan's warmth to notice the polluting instrumentals somehow turned into a slow song, the singer spilling his vulnerability bare within the lyrics; to realize that his body moves in harmony with chan's, only in small steps, but here they are gravitating towards each other at the center of the universe filled with short-term pleasures and long-term uncertainties.

“in that case,” seungsik breathes in, breathes out, “lead me until i'm breathless.”

leaning in, chan softly whispers, “with my pleasure.”


	3. all night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is taken from astro's [all night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEE1UC90I0o).

♥

byungchan is currently marching into his finals, hanse recalls as he counts the number of papers and post-it-notes scattered across byungchan's desk. hanse feels sorry he called byungchan at this hour, a skype one at that, when most of the lights sleep along with seoul, and byungchan visibly struggles with his own drowsiness. he covers up his yawn, adjusts his glasses so it sits up prettily on his nose bridge before he cups his own face with his palms, softly greets him with a simple “hey.”

“maybe i should call you later,” says hanse, fiddling with the hems of his sweater sleeve.

“no, no, no, it's okay. you came at the right time actually,” byungchan replies, soothing hanse's from a distance away “i'd rather see you than these letters. like, i actually feel like i'm gonna go crazy writing about existentialism. god, why the hell did i choose this topic? i don't think i ever go through existentialism crisis before! stupid brain!”

byungchan then rants on and on, which hanse enjoys tremendously because he simply misses listening to him. just like how byungchan nests in his dorm and the study rooms to make sure his soon-forgotten knowledge wouldn't be graded badly, hanse also coops up in his studio, finishing his songs for a rookie group that hopefully rakes in the general public's recognition. hanse is also just as tired as byungchan, albeit in different ways.

hanse waits until byungchan stops his rambling before he asks, “you didn't forget to drink, right?”

the student scoops up his bottle of water, waving it in front of the camera. “what about you? you always tend to forget to eat whenever you're busy arranging.”

“i'm fine. ordered some chicken from your favorite place.”

“nice.”

yes, the food was nice. but now, seeing byungchan animatedly speaking about sejun's mishaps in their kitchen dorm is also nice. listening to him after two weeks of confining himself with nothing but familiar instruments and strangers' voices is nice. heavenly, even. he could sleep to his sounds.

the one who sleeps first however is byungchan. it's not a surprise, really. one second he fumed over his stingy professor and the next one his head already on his desk with his closed eyes and his soft snores, distorted by the signal.

hanse snorts, not expecting any better from byungchan, but he supposes the night is still long and byungchan is still far away from the finish line. long, winded conversations can be delayed, but at least hanse knows they keep each other in their thoughts just from the mundane questions over food and drink. it's one way to show love, hanse thinks— the sheer simplicity of it; all of the things he's taken for granted.

he rests his head too, leaving the call intact, and let the sound of byungchan's breaths lull him to sleep.


	4. first steps of faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by hades' ost [lament of orpheus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oll7pr4JVTQ).

♥

it's a tragedy trope. sejun sees this countless of times from chan's backlog of dramas and movies to the point he's genre-savvy enough to predict the way subin reacts to his presence.

“who are you?”

cliché, yes. does not mean it's not effective, though. sejun, upon hearing this, is absolutely distraught.

* * *

it's your classic hit-and-run situation. subin was passing the zebra cross. on the horizon, there was a man with alcohol weaved in his body driving his car so fast as if he wanted to chase for eternity. did not even see subin on the road. you all can figure out the rest.

thus, subin is here now in the hospital, recovering with his parents by his side, with chan constantly sneaking in his favorite snacks, with sejun waiting in the halls, unable to help because he is now only a blip in subin's memory

“oh, i remember,” subin said a few days ago, rising sejun's hope up. “you're the librarian, right? why are you here though? are you the one who saved me?”

_yes, i'm the librarian. i'm here for you. no, sadly not. if i were there, maybe you never have to forget the little mosaics of our memories together._

the silver lining is sejun is not the only person subin forgets. hanse likes to joke about it, mostly to cheer sejun up, but he could see the way hanse curled up his fists and pursed his lips, struggling to paint himself a dazzling smile. he likes that kid, after all, like a brother he'd spoil to death.

sejun leans his head onto hanse's shoulder, absorbing his warmth and in return, lending his own warmth to the younger kid. hanse caves in eventually, openly sobbing into his palms with sejun's arm holding him together.

“do you not feel sad of being forgotten?” hanse asks afterward, when he could breathe a little bit easier.

“i do,” says sejun, remembering stacks of tissues in the trashcan, subin's mug still left unwashed in the sink, the cold pizza slices sejun saved for subin that night. it's a wonder, really, how there are so many traces of them living together lasting through time contradicting the truth that sejun's countenance got wiped off from subin's memory—and yet, these realities exist together side-by-side. “but it's okay. we just gotta learn about ourselves again.”

* * *

subin, thankfully, welcomes him. his parents also allow him to visit him three days a week, patting his back when they saw a single drop of a tear falling down from the corner of sejun's eye.

subin is keeping his distance, obviously wary, and sejun tries to respect that. he's a stranger, once again, with thousands of stories buried in his throat. visit after visit, sejun would impart one tale—real tales, fairytales, strange tales—to subin before he walks back to their half-empty apartment after the visiting hours are over.

today, the fates of orpheus and eurydice escape from his lips.

“i don't get it.” subin frowns. “orpheus had the courage to descend into the underworld to meet eurydice, and suddenly he felt so scared and looked back when he was only a few steps away from living together with his muse again, thus the tragic separation. why so?”

“it's our hubris to constantly doubt ourselves, to each other,” says sejun, closing his eyes. “one moment of doubt can destroy years of faith.”

subin grips his sheets, tilting his head down and hiding his eyes. softly, he whispers, “is that why you're here? because you doubt that i would ever recover memories of you?”

“what?”

“you always come here, five pm, telling me stories i've vaguely heard before, but it's all about someone else. not you. not me. not us.” subin looks up, then stares into sejun's eyes. “are you afraid of telling a story that i would not remember?”

sejun gasps, wants to deny because there are a thousand of strangers' stories in his throat, but stories about the two of them are weaved in sejun's skin, bones, and blood. nothing would pull his heartstrings more than the way subin reciprocates his love with his whole heart. and yet no words can be said. he can't deny because it's the truth. he's afraid. he's full of doubt.

subin seems to understand sejun's silence, taking it as an opportunity to speak more. “frankly, i still remember you as the campus librarian. but the way you constantly visit me tells me we are more than strangers. i asked about you to my parents, to my doctor, but they said it's better for me to learn about you on my own pace. and i wanted to. i wanna learn about you so bad but how could i when you don't even talk about yourself?”

“i don't want to pressure you,” says sejun, his fingers start shaking. “i'm not the only one you need to remember. there's a considerable time gap in your memories. i can't be selfish enough to try filling your mind with mine.”

“try me.”

the gods must have wanted to have a little more suspense in the story. that must be why there's a nurse slipping into the room for five seconds, reminding sejun that he needs to leave, her words ringing like the clock in cinderella.

before that, however, sejun blurts out, “i'll tell you about our first date next time.”

subin's eyes widen at the implication, the little hint of romance in his words, confirming his suspicions. sejun can see a storm of confusion whirling there, trying to dig up buried moving panorama of them walking under the blooming spring. god, maybe he shouldn't have immediately jump there, but he sees subin heaving a long breath, his frown shifts into a lovely smile sejun admires so, so much.

“please have faith in me,” subin requests. “i'll try my best to recall that first date so both of us can tell the story with our perspectives—yours and mine.”

“ha,” sejun chuckles. “perhaps i am the amnesiac one. how could i forget that you are always the strong one.”

 _my lionheart_ , he adds in his thoughts.

sejun takes subin's hand, not intertwining their fingers. not yet because they are still realistically strangers bound by forgotten memories. subin flinches, surprised, just like how sejun expects him to be. even so, subin relaxes into his touch and sejun feels thankful for a moment of familiarity.

“it's our hubris to doubt ourselves, to each other,” sejun reiterates, “but it's also our strength to sharpen our faith in ourselves, in our loved ones, for no faith could even exist without a drop of doubt.” sejun lets go of subin's hand and link their pinkies instead. a promise. a red thread. “i place my faith in you.”

subin beams a thousand suns. “thank you.”

* * *

 _don't look back_ , sejun thinks as he walks out of the room, reminiscing and reminiscing and reminiscing every action subin had taken, every words he had uttered, and he's afraid that he would never witness those wondrous moments again. but his mouth has spoken his promise and his throat asked him not to follow orpheus' steps.

_have faith._

_and don't look back._


	5. magnets

♥

seungwoo knocks his helmet against subin's, grinning droopily as he watches subin backs away and pats his helmet's cover down, trying to find any damage there and huffing his cheeks out.

“be careful, hyung,” subin pouts, “i just bought it.”

“and i'm flattered you bought it so you can often ride with me,” seungwoo snickers, hiding his mirth on the back of his palm.

“who says it's for you?” subin raises his eyebrow. “i'm just maximizing the chance of my survivability just in case something goes wrong.”

“yeah, yeah, whatever you said,” says seungwoo, which earns a light punch to his arm. seungwoo yelps, performative, and subin can't help but roll his eyes at his boyfriend's dramatic exaggeration.

subin hops on seungwoo's bike and his hands coiling around his torso. then they blast through the roads, high-speed, leaving city lights to shift into colorful dots and lines. seungwoo feels the world tilts on its axis except for the steady weight leaning against him with his heartbeat quickens like flashes of lightning.

 _how comforting_ , seungwoo thinks before he speeds up, obeying the flow of the roads and denying the harsh direction of the wind, and his love never letting go.

♥

subin decides to watch a war movie. seungwoo never really liked seeing blood spattered senselessly, but he wants to be by subin's side whenever he can, to be his pillar and his sky and his world and everything inbetween. so, he's sitting beside subin, an arm slinging over his shoulder to hold him steady, and watches along.

that said, seungwoo is the one who ended up sobbing; his tears spent on the death of the main character's horse.

“human sucks,” seungwoo concludes, sniffing into his tissue.

“i know.” subin adjusts his position so he can sit on seungwoo's lap, pressing their foreheads against each other. “maybe we should go to a horse ranch someday.”

seungwoo looks up at him, eyelashes still wet, then he chuckles.

“that would be nice,” says seungwoo before he catches subin's lips.

♥

subin never really shouts out his love to the world and seungwoo does not really mind about it anymore. he knows, though, that some nights, a drowsy, lulled subin likes to whisper those holy words against seungwoo's temple. the tone so light as if he's only heaving out air—as if he loves as natural as breathing.

seungwoo burrows his face into subin's neck. inhales. exhales.


End file.
